Words and Meanings Again

I think I am going to just make a tab for words and meanings.  I went back and read the article from my earlier post concerning Catholics and Christians.  Then I just had to read the paragraph cited from the Catechism of the Catholic Church.  Then that had me searching the word mediatrix in Merriam-Webster.

What?!

Mary is a mediatrix?  Or she is a mediator?  How?  In analogy it reminds me of a religious version of the degrees to Kevin Bacon.  Now I'm not chalking up a points thing here, but man, this leaves me kind of sad.  Sad because I always looked to Mary as being the greatest Mother in the entire world whom misunderstood Catholics gave recognition to.  Words have been used to argue one ideology over another since language has been written.  In my mind words = plural,  When put to the one word rule, mincing meaning is difficult, especially use and lack thereof in the Bible.  So logically, Mary is NOT a mediator according to the Bible.  Implying that there is more than one way to God violates the core of being a Christian, right?  And I haven't even begun that discussion and research and personal thought process.  I am just addressing things one at a time.  I didn't have plans to linger, but here I am, kind of indignantly wanting to question somebody: WHY?

Why didn't somebody just tell me to go read this Catechism?  It's hard for me to explain how finding facts based within reason frees the mind more to contemplate the heart comforting.  However, I am still just putting it in here, to chew over, because now that prayer Hail Mary is going around in my head.  Now I wonder exactly what does it mean 'Full of Grace'.  I can see now why asking her to pray for us fires people up.  Why ask her, when God's right here? so to speak?  I get it now that I pick it apart in literal sense.

Again, somebody should have just said Read this prayer.  What does it say?  *sigh*

So links:

Is Roman Catholicism and Christianity the Same Thing?

Catechism of the Catholic Church (paragraph 969 reference)

Mediatrix: Definition by Merriam-Webster

   

Words and Meanings

I had to look up the word catechism at Merriam-Webster.  I know it's getting ahead of things, but in looking up differences between what I thought I knew, and wanting to find a copy to download and read, I wondered at the word.

To my horror, I find that Catechism's first meaning is:  Oral Instruction.  What?  Then second, it's a summary of religious doctrine put to question and answer.  What?

I thought the Bible was the Ultimate book.  I didn't know there was a separate book for Catholics (Not to be confused with saying I am Catholic, as I am not).  I mean, I've heard, but obviously, haven't read it and decidedly want to know what they believe.  To get to the bottom of things in my mind, I suppose.

All this questioning occurred when I asked Google the differences in Christianity.  I clicked on is Roman Catholicism and Christianity the Same Thing?  Here's the link:

https://carm.org/is-catholicism-christian

So that's some reading to digest on my part.  Again, I'm jumping ahead.  This blog isn't all about Christianity and Catholics.  I've got much to impart about other topics and how they mesh together, such as consciousness, reality and science.  Also discoveries about history and government and how they seem to go hand in hand with religion.

Beginning Statements

So in the first post I began pretty vague.  I was purposely trying to not begin talking by labeling myself.  Upon thinking, I know I have to provide some sort of backdrop to help myself and others see why I feel so confused about things and see how I hope writing leads to a better understanding of the inner workings of spirituality.

There's no way to just mesh things seamlessly for me.  So I will first make some statements.

1.  I know there is a God.

2.  I don't believe in luck or coincidence.

3.  I believe I exist because God made it happen.

How in the world do I provide backup for these statements?  I can't really.  It's just something I know. That's where all the confusion of the world I live in steps in to provide doubt and fear.  To that end I add more history.

My first memories of God are in a Roman Catholic Church, and my childhood memories of church are beautiful in every way.  It is always this feeling I aspire to when I think of God and of the concept of church.  To me, calling the Priest Father was akin to having a parent teaching me what is good and admonish me when I behaved bad.  Our Priest cared about me as a person and as a child of God.  I can even remember going to confession and feeling good about sharing my sins.  I always looked upon confession as counseling of a sort, and Father____ always taught me something during and after having been to confession.  It was news to me that I was supposed to think Priests were my emissary to God.  I've always known I could talk to him.  

I believe in Jesus.  I grew up knowing how he died on the cross because God loved me so much.  I din't understand the differences of churches until I was older, but growing up Catholic in the South always felt like I was protecting the fundamental belief of believing in Christ.  I could never understand the statement:  born again.  I think I interpreted that early on as literal and could not wrap my head around the wide gap this thought made between me and other people.  To me, Christian was Christian.

What I mean is I could not understand the difference of faith and choice.  I still grapple with this idea.  I don't know when I thought hard on the words belief, faith and choice.  It kind of still has hold of me.  Belief =  God  Faith= Spirit Choice=Jesus.  Or Belief=God=Know.  Faith=Spirit=prayer.  Choice=Jesus=Reality.  I could go on with plugging in of words.  I thought they were all and the same. 

I was not brought up to pray to Mary, or to worship her.  I know the prayer, Hail Mary, but always interpreted this as a way to praise the woman who gave birth to Christ.  Then on the other hand, I have always viewed Mary as someone to aspire to be like, because God picked her.  Yeah, I always wanted to be that kind of mother, and I have never looked back at it because this is my childhood interpretation.

I'll stop here as its getting to be a long post, but don't start forming a label yet.  I'm just trying to set out what my heart says to talk upon.

Why Write About This

I feel strange about writing about God and wonder where this is going to take me.  I feel compelled to document the journey in blog form because I am going to try and stick to topic and keep the labels concise.  I want my own little place for writing on all things spiritual and felt the need for a place that's my own.  I am ardently seeking what I feel is relevant to think about, and here lately, its on a daily basis.

I'm not here to sell anything or make anyone mad, least of all to champion someone to assume the lectern position and shake fingers at me.  I want to share things and feel better for doing so, because I wonder at so many ideas others spark within me.

I know this is a slippery slope.  That's why its personal.  Talking about God or even the word God fires up buttons some of us didn't even know we possess.

I come to this decision about writing personally because I am on the fence looking out on the broad vista of my life.  I have been reading, watching and pondering.  This just me, talking and by no means am I an expert.  I suppose that's part of it all.  In the search I've found almost too much information and can't keep things straight. That said, I just want to find my place spirituality and use my own impressions of our world today.  I will always try to link whatever it is I am talking about if it can be found on the internet.

Lastly, I want to share a feeling.  I feel like my heart hurts.  Somehow I know this feeling is connected to the world, to God and everyone else.